It started with a toy sheriff named Woody who was terrified of losing his status as his beloved child's favorite toy. In the 24 years since Toy Story first tugged at our heartstrings with the notion that toys are people too, Pixar has introduced dozens of characters with a wide range of personalities and appearances. Raising the question: Who's your favorite toy from the Toy Story franchise?
When ranking the many Toy Story characters, there are several potential approaches. Do you prioritize cuteness? How central a role a character played in the plot? Develop a complicated equation taking all these factors into account? At the end of the day, it came down to a gut feeling about each of the characters.
So, without further ado, here's a definitive, totally scientific ranking of the toys in the Toy Story films:
- Slinky Dog: Golly bob howdy, he's adorable!
- Bullseye: A winning smile you can't say nay to.
- Legs: Toy or surrealist masterpiece?
- Trixie: Points for being a dinosaur. Bonus points for being a triceratops.
- Green Army Men: Their ability to run a military campaign with their feet strapped to plastic is nothing short of inspiring.
- Squeeze Toy Aliens/Little Green Men: They've got a lot more going on than you originally realize.
- Bo Peep: Digging the new pants, Bo Peep!
- Marie Antoinette: An undeniably macabre reference to a centuries-old beheading in a children's movie? We're here for it!
- Robot Guards: Two words: pizza shield.
- Pricklepants: A thespian hedgehog who wears lederhosen? Sign me up!
- Snake: He has an adorable blep tongue!
- Peas-in-a-Pod: Peatey, Peatrice, and Peanelope are adorable.
- Rex: Everything's better with dinosaurs.
- Wheezy: I mean, he's a penguin. ‘Nough said.
- Stretch: You had me at glitter octopus.
- Hockey Puck: What can I say? He's charming in a surreal sort of way.
- Sparks: An evil, sarcastic robot? Where have you been all my life?
- RC: The toys never would have escaped Scud without him.
- Etch-a-Sketch: Bonus nostalgia points.
- Buzz Lightyear: Best Space Ranger in the galaxy.
- Sarge: It has been an honor, Sergeant.
- Mike: Staff meetings just wouldn't be the same without him.
- Totoro: I just want to nap on him.
- Sally: She helps Hannah put the fear of toys into her evil brother Sid, and for that she'll always be a hero.
- Babyface: Creepiest. Toy. Ever. Yes!
- Sheriff Woody: Always there for his friends.
- Evil Emperor Zurg: He's got a Thanos-level gravitas and accoutrement straight out of RuPaul's Drag Race.
- Janie and Pterodactyl: Janie's cool. Pterodactyl's cool. Together they're invincible.
- Burned Rag Doll: She could use a makeover with the Fab Five but the important point is that she's a survivor.
- Roller Bob: He's got a nice, creepy Mad Max vibe.
- The Frog: This wind-up toy has wheels. And we're here for it.
- Jingle Joe: A Combat Carl head + Mickey Mouse arm + Melody Push Chime base = Magic.
- Ducky: He's here. He's weird. Get used to it.
- Rockmobile: Give this guy a starring role in the next Men in Black
- Buttercup: How could you not love a unicorn named Buttercup?
- Hand-in-the-Box: Not the most charismatic of Sid's toys but still cool.
- Lenny: He gets extra points for being functional.
- Red Pickup Truck: He's a loyal soldier in the battle against Sid.
- Walking Car: This little guy is a survivor through and through
- Shark: 10/10 for his Sheriff Woody impression.
- Toy Guide Barbie: Her perky helpfulness is surprisingly endearing.
- Troikas: What's not to love? You've got your dog. You've got your cat. You've got your duck. You've got your fish. You've got your ladybug.
- Ken: Is he evil? Yes. But his wardrobe more than compensates for it.
- Big Baby: He's so delightfully creepy! The Five Nights at Freddy's crew should borrow him for jump scares.
- Toddle Tots Fire Truck: It's like the kindergarten edition of The Village People.
- Twitch: Give this evil insect-warrior his own sitcom, and I promise to watch.
- Cymbal-banging monkey: He's so delightfully, unapologetically creepy.
- Dolly: She loses points for being a doll named Dolly but recovers some points for intelligence.
- Potato Head: All I'm saying is she can definitely do better than Mr. Potato Head.
- Lots-O'-Huggin' Bear: There are a lot of shady things about this toy from his name to the fact that he's strawberry scented but it's hard to completely dismiss him given that he has had a rough life.
- Utility Belt Buzz Lightyear: Same ol' Buzz.
- Combat Carl: Sorry, Combat Carl, but you've got to stop referring to yourself in the third person.
- Magic 8-Ball: He just doesn't inspire strong feelings.
- Troll: How does the world not recognize how terrifying these troll dolls are?
- See ‘n Say: I really wish we could have seen him come out of his shell a little more.
- Rocky Gibraltar: Eh.
- Jessie: She yodels and has abandonment issues. That's two strikes.
- Hamm the Piggy Bank: He's awfully quick to turn on Woody in the first movie.
- Potato Head: He's literally the first toy to turn on Woody in the first movie. Where's the loyalty?
- Robot: I just think he could have brought more to the table.
- Forky: A little neurotic for my taste.
- Spell: Unfortunately, he gives off a creepy my-first-Ouija-board vibe.
- Chatter Telephone: An uncomfortable mix of creepy and sad.
- Roly Poly Clown: Creepy. That's all there is to say.
- Chuckles: No. Just no.
- Stinky Pete: His name has the word stinky in it so it's a no-go.
- Bookworm: Tries to shame Ken for wearing high heels? Get out of here with that nonsense.
- Chunk: Mocks girls' toys? Moving on.