Do you struggle to determine your place in a complex world with wizards, witches and muggles? Are you wondering if your Hogwarts letter simply got lost in the mail? Here are 20 signs you are definitively a muggle, though hopefully not a Dursley sort of muggle.
- You commuted to work today in a car. Not because you wanted to or found it charming but because that's what people do.
- You wouldn't be caught dead carrying a stick around in your pocket.
- The only robe you own is made of terry cloth.
- If you heard the word "accio" you'd probably say "gesundheit" or possibly “bless you.”
- Squib sounds like something you might order at a sushi restaurant.
- You've never eaten earwax-flavored candy.
- Butter and beer do not belong together.
- Your teachers are present for class regardless of the moon phase.
- You've never had a conversation with a portrait.
- Broomsticks are for sweeping.
- If a hat starts talking to you, it's a sign that something's seriously wrong and a visit to a neurologist might be in order.
- Your history class failed to mention anything about the goblin rebellions of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries.
- Letters are delivered by humans who work for the U.S. postal service.
- Your school had a basement but no dungeon.
- You've never been attacked by a plant, textbook or other school lesson.
- Jousting with tables is impossible.
- Handbags have spatial limits.
- It would never occur to you to step into a toilet and pull the handle.
- Walking into a wall seems like a good way to get a concussion.
- Magical elves don't do your house work.