Most superheroes possess a special set of skills or gadgetry that distinguishes them from the common and slightly less super folk. Sure, some of their powers are undeniably cooler than others. Deadpool does insist that Domino’s superpower is not, in fact, a superpower but she pretty much showed him. And technically Robin doesn’t have any superpowers but the Teen Titans don’t seem to mind … much.
No superhero team is complete without someone who can fly and superhero strength and speed are pretty much standard fare, as are shapeshifting, invisibility and telekinesis. But what about the superpowers that never make it past the initial idea phase?
These are the superpowers you’re never likely to hear about because if someone did have one of these superpowers, they probably wouldn’t be bragging about it.
- Supernatural ability to spot change on the ground. While pockets full of jingling coins might slow a superhero down, or possibly alert potential enemies to their location, this superhero would never be short on change for the parking meter.
- A super suit that never wrinkles, even if the superhero wore it for a 12-hour flight with a six-hour delay.
- A ponytail whip power move that briefly blinds and mildly annoys your opponent.
- Slightly better than average vision, maybe 20/12.
- Perpetual and potent onion breath that drives villains away.
- A super suit that repels cat and dog hair. Cat Woman would undoubtedly be thrilled at no longer having to purchase lint rollers in bulk.
- Prehensile feet. Think of all the weapons your toes could wield!
- Perfect pitch. Intimidate and impress your archenemies with your ability to accurately dissect sound into the correct frequency and pitch after hearing it only once. It might make for a better party trick than fighting style, but not all superpowers have to correlate to fighting.
- The perfect playlist. Scoff if you must, but even the toughest superhero sometimes needs a little motivation going into an epic battle with forces of evil. And how better to get pumped than by listening to the perfect playlist?
- Razor burn as a power move. For this, the superhero will need to be armed with a cheap shaving razor and have the ability to hold down an opponent while attempting to shave them without shaving cream. Your opponents will curse your existence every time they attempt the painful challenge of putting on pants.
- Cutting wit. One might make the argument that this particular superpower already exists given Deadpool’s penchant for ceaseless chatter, but has it evert been recognized as a superpower? Surely the ability to irritate and/or demoralize opponents with quality banter warrants respect?
- The ability to flawlessly match outfit, accessories and shoes. Superhero suits tend to be pretty spiffy, so a flawlessly executed superhero look would likely garner some envy, but how would that translate to fighting villains?
- The ability to repel songs from getting stuck in your head. Might not mean much in a fight, but if you could bottle this power, you’d be rich.
- Lightning Hiccup Attack. Now this superpower might actually be useful in a fight. Render your opponent annoyed and uncomfortable with uncontrollable hiccups.
- A strong jawline. Given the profiles on the DC Universe heroes, this might already be a superhero requirement, but has anyone considered weaponizing a strong jawline for the superhero’s advantage? It could feature in a power move called Glass Jaw, or Jaw Crush or Law of the Jaw.